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Friday, April 1st, 2005
6:03 pm - What a strange day.
Thankfully, I'm still in my own house. It was really quite odd to see so many new faces at the breakfast table, especially those I've met, like Ernie and Hermione. It was interesting to get to talk to Hermione - she's very knowledge-oriented, but in a different way from myself. I don't know if we really understood each other or not, but I'd never really talked to her much before, so it was interesting to meet new people. It's something I don't do enough of. I think the uniform changes are a little silly, but perhaps there is some truth to what Headmaster Dumbledore was saying about needing unity right now. I know I've been kind of upset with people when I didn't really need to be.

I am starting to get worried about Michael's sleepwalking, though. It's been seeming to get a little more frequent, and the other day I woke up to him wandering around the room and half the books off of the bookshelf - and I know he's not one to treat books that way. At least they were all fine, but it's... very strange. Anthony hasn't been sleeping well, either - he always looks so tired. It really makes me stay up thinking about what is going on in the world around me, and I worry that all this sleep-disturbance might be catching. I certainly hope not.

Also strange are Luna's numbers, but I think I'm beginning to understand. I just wish I could make some more rational sense out of it. What was the lady's name, again?

current mood: contemplative

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Saturday, March 19th, 2005
1:41 pm
Anything that I say about this week will sound like an understatement. I started with trying to help keep people calm, but that didn't exactly go well (it's not that I don't put in the effort, but others seem to find my powers of tact sorely lacking), so then I spent a long time trying to puzzle something out for myself, but I really am rather at a loss here. Poem-riddles and such are not my forte; I always skived off of as much scroll-writing as possible in favor of equations and concrete projects. I'm not really afraid, yet; I'm just heartily confused. This can't be a good thing.

I do like Harry Potter's idea of re-opening the DA. If we want to be successful this time, though, it sounds as if everyone will have to be involved. It wasn't exactly fair to keep the Slytherins out last time, though circumstances may have made it more prudent at the time. By the same token, I also agree with Mandy that it's important for all of us, the students, to know what's really going on. The constant censorship of everything we get to hear is really crippling all of our attempts to keep things straight, and while I do concede that perhaps it wouldn't be totally appropriate to let all students know about everything (we really were very young first year, thinking back on it), at least the higher-level students who are about to be loosed upon the world really do need to be told more of said world's actual circumstances and situations. I've the idea that this is not just going to happen, nor are the professors going to suddenly become more open, so we are going to have to find some more concrete way of getting information without going through them. ...Maybe I can work on that. I ought to speak more to my fellow Ravenclaws about it - I'm sure they will give me ideas.

current mood: frustrated

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Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
1:55 am - Huh.
I couldn't sleep, so I decided to to a bit of quiet journal-writing before trying to sleep again. Those charms rather confused my schedule, as I was quite excited about staying up to spend time with people and didn't mind the time last night, so I slept later than I'd have liked this morning and threw everything off. I think the attempt on the part of the Gryffindors was a bad idea, but at least we can keep in mind that they didn't mean ill.

Though I don't have the sort of motivation about it that I had yesterday, I'm still quite excited about the Ancient Runes project that Mandy and I are working on. We decided to combine her skills in Astronomy with my enjoyment of Arithmancy and look at the magical use of runes found in old astronomy texts to predict physical stellar phenomena. It's really given me a new viewpoint on the Ancient Runes class as a whole. I liked the class before (even though my interests have always been primarily in Arithmantic runes), but I find it even more satisfying to be able to tie together different areas of my interests. I'm also enjoying the chance to use our presentation to bring some practical aspects of Arithmancy to the fore - it often seems that other students are less than positive about it (and its sister topic of Divinations, though I suspect that may be due to all that fuss when my year first met Professor Trelawney). It makes me very glad to share so many interests with others of my House. Well, undoubtedly with other Houses as well, but I see the other Ravenclaws much more often... I'm starting to ramble. I'll be off to bed.

current mood: awake

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Monday, February 21st, 2005
4:38 pm - Quiet
So many terrible things have been happening lately that it's really difficult to know what to say. I've been trying to pay attention to peoples' feelings, really I have, but it seems that if I say nothing it is wrong of me, and if I say anything other people will think I am being melodramatic, presumptuous, flippant, or insincere. I will not claim to understand anyone else's problems, because I most likely don't. I do, however, wish everyone the best.

current mood: confused

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Friday, February 11th, 2005
1:45 pm - Whoops.
I know I haven't posted in forever and a day, but things have been hectic. What with losing the game to Slytherin (unfairly I think) and trying to help keep people happy around the Eyrie, my emotional life has been kind of busy. I really wish that I understood how it is that other people can tell how each other are feeling without them having to say it - people always have to spell things out for me in that regard, and I can get very confused. One supposes one can't be good at everything, though. And cuddling a bit with friends really does help.

Luna is still not really enjoying to type, but she seems to feel a lot better now and is generally willing to try it, which is good. The more normal things one does when trying to heal, the better. Valentine's Day is coming up and I'd like to do something with her (it's no good trying to keep secrets and surprises around here; I hope Luna already knows how much I enjoy being around her), but I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I'll think of something.

current mood: rushed

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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
10:35 pm - I don't think "trepidatious" is a word...
I must confess to being somewhat worried about the upcoming Quidditch match. I know, strong leader, never show weakness, but I must be honest. I've asked Arnold Anderson, who used to play when Lisa was captain, back as Keeper for the match, since he's familiar with the game. I'm sure he'll do a bang-up job, but the team is still a bit shaken in general, and not having our usual group dynamic is bound not to help things. I have been coming up with some fun new plays, though.

Everything's been quite a blur. I've gotten caught up in my classes and have been working with others on material where needed, but I haven't really had much time to pursue my own studies for enjoyment, which is a shame. I'll write more later, when I'm not quite so tired. I think I'm going to go and spend some time with friends and then go to bed.

current mood: tired

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Sunday, January 16th, 2005
11:46 pm - Events of the past week.
I've purposely tried to keep things quiet and peaceful as possible during this past week. I apologize to everyone who had to deal with me while I was not making sense... I've been working hard on keeping focused on my work, since I neglected it for a few days, though it's been sort of hard to balance that with spending time with Luna in the infirmary. I'm glad that so many of the other Ravenclaws have been to visit her - she really needs friends nearby right now. I was so worried about her... She's still having a lot of aftereffects, but she's much much better now than she was at the hospital.

I've also been busy figuring out my own stance on a great many issues. Now that I'm more clearheaded again, I've been trying to figure out exactly what I feel about the events that have been going on - not only Su-Li's death, but the Death Eaters, the conscriptions, and why our news is censored. I have a lot of trouble picking one steadfast opinion, because it seems like with issues like the conscriptions, one must be either for or against, and I am not really either yet. There seems to be something fundamentally a bit wrong with the idea, but then again, is there really any other way to do it? And in the case of the censorship, I personally think that it's definitely wrong, but it might have been just as wrong for us to know everything, all at once. Of course we have to keep looking for ways to solve all of our problems, but it seems like progress on these issues will require compromise of some sort, and when peoples' emotions run high logic seems to go by the wayside.

I'm sure some of this will be sorted out in time, if not because we want to do it then because we have to. I've just really learned to appreciate the interactions I have with people and the friends that I have, and to look on the bright side that so many of us *are* safe, for now.

current mood: pensive

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Wednesday, January 5th, 2005
9:48 pm - Today
It's getting late now and I don't like that so much. Nearer and nearer the time for Astronomy. I think maybe I feel like staying in. All the stars make me feel very alone, like they are telling me to go away. The people are like other stars - warning me off. They don't have to say anything; I know. I know it. Somebody was talking all last night when I wanted to sleep, and I wanted to move to somewhere else, but then they started trying to scare me and telling me not to move. That really isn't funny at all. If they wanted me away why would they keep me from going? Luna's dad talked on the journal and I'm not sure I like that either; I like Luna's dad and I like Luna and I am so happy if she is awake but I can't believe the latpot. It brings confusions and lies. I want it to stop, them to stop. I am going to stop too now because the confusions will get in through my fingers.

current mood: anxious

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Monday, January 3rd, 2005
5:48 pm - none
I'm back at school as well now, and back in classes. I can't get out to visit the Ravenclaws who are still in St. Mungo's, even though Luna was going to be allowed visitors today or tomorrow... she's not conscious yet. But everyone seems to be getting better. I guess now the shock is setting in - walking into the Eyrie and not seeing them there.

I'm 18 now. It feels just like 17. I got a birthday letter from my father and a package with chocolate in it. What I want most to do right now is to eat it, read, and go to sleep.

current mood: blank

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Thursday, December 30th, 2004
12:19 am - Interesting but harrying holidays.
Christmas Day with my father was actually quite nice. I'm finding it somewhat harder to talk to him since I've been at school for a while, but as long as we don't linger too much on what I'm going to be doing once I graduate, things are fine. He seems to think that the only thing that Arithmancy is good for is for becoming an Arithmancy professor - I'll grant that's one of the largest markets, but I wouldn't so much mind it, and besides, there are still some research positions, even though they seem to subsist on Ministry grants... but any rate, the two of us have been over that several times before, and it goes nowhere.

Sorry if I'm a bit absent today. I know everyone (and some people in particular) is tired of hearing about it, but I'm really worried about Anthony. I'm going to be helping Michael and Lisa contact people in the Ministry or something... any other Ravenclaws who are interested in helping might want to come along too; we'll need everyone's mental resources. I'm going to have a sleep now, so that I'm sharp in the morning.

current mood: tired

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Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
12:31 am - I know I'm posting rather late (early?) in the day...
...but the holidays thus far have been so much fun that it's thrown off my schedule a bit. First, there was Aura's party, which I (and I suspect most people who were there) found quite enjoyable, despite other things that have been said. I believe some people were a bit heavy-handed with the alcohol, though I was careful to be moderate, as it makes me rather flustered and I don't much care for that. I hope Aura likes her present - a book on classical Muggle music, since she had mentioned she preferred something with a bit more melody.

I've been having a lovely time here at Luna's house - the whole place is festooned with decorations now; I even got to help and put some of them up. It's an interesting change, all the faery lights and such, as my father has never really seen the fun of putting up something you're going to take down a month later, festive as it may be. I vaguely remember an incident when I was very young and he'd decorated because family friends were going to come over. One of his foster creatures at the time ate all the needles off the tree, and that was the end of that. He was livid, but it's quite funny now looking back on it.

I took a nice walk with Luna earlier today before the sun went down and it got too cold for outside. I'd forgotten my mittens, but she helped me keep my hands warm. It's fun to be able to walk around in the outdoors without being herded about by professors for going too far into the woods. You see many more interesting things this way.

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Sunday, December 12th, 2004
9:23 pm - The holiday season...
Now that I've done some thinking on which things are and are not of my concern, and since we didn't have so many of the assignments that I'd already built time into my schedule for, I've had more of an opportunity to listen to the Muggle music I'd been hearing about on the Wireless. I listened a few times later on at night when they had a segment called "Electro", wondering if it had anything to do with electricity. It didn't quite seem to directly, but the musicians used a lot of beepy noises that sounded like what comes out of the latpots when we turn them on, and lots of playing sounds over and doing funny things to them. I've recorded some of it to listen to at my leisure. It was really quite interesting - I shall have to see whether I can make some of those noises come from my latpot... perhaps with the aid of some recording charms... but that will be a project for over the break.

I've found out that I'm to be going home with Luna again for the first part of the break, though my father would prefer I be with him for Christmas and the New Year. I think these holidays will be quite enjoyable. It's always fun to be able to spend a little time with one's friends when there is less stress from complicated social situations, and research can be completed at your own pace rather than that of the school. Seeing my father should be good as well; he gets so lonely over the holidays. Sometimes I wish I had a younger sibling to keep him company, but thinking about it, the ability for me to have a younger sibling would of necessity negate the reason for his feeling lonely. Er, at any rate, the two of us should get on well; he'll show me his latest interesting creature and I'll show him my latest empirical findings and we'll both be thoroughly confused with the other. Now to enjoy my time with the friends I'm not going to see for a while, get my things in order, and keep up my work for the last week of classes.

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Saturday, December 4th, 2004
5:21 pm
This week has been busy but good. Hogsmeade was fun and, as I had predicted, a welcome change from the usual. I hung around and went to Honeydukes with a few people in the beginning, then had a peek at a few interesting storefronts and did a bit of shopping. I found a quill for Luna, since she sometimes seems to lose hers. I hope she likes the quill - she seemed pleased, and it was my favourite they had there. She has been putting it in her hair between classes recently. She looks very nice. Sometimes she looks very very nice and it makes me blush. I don't understand why, because I am not embarrassed.

Earlier today I was in the library searching for a book and I ran across Ernie MacMillan, who seemed very excited about the wireless station that he was posting about for Muggle Studies class. That seems like an interesting class; sometimes I think it's a pity I decided not to take it, as there's so much to learn about them, and it certainly would have helped my understanding about some of their stranger concepts, like the "electricity" that I'm still not entirely sure of. I am happy with my schedule, though - I get to do some of the things that I enjoy the most. At any rate, the Muggle music sounds like it must be interesting - perhaps if I have time I'll give it a listen.

If I have time... that seems to have been the mantra of my week. If anyone has been attempting to reach me and not succeeding, I'm sorry. My attempts to make sure that I actually get out and about have been slipping, something that I'd like to remedy. I know that I can learn about as much from observing things in the real world as I can from burying myself in books, so I'll try to do more of the former than the latter, so that my rear end doesn't somehow fuse into my chair.

current mood: curious

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Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
1:45 pm - A lot has been going on.
By now everyone's heard all the nonsense over the Quidditch game; I personally am glad that our team's game plans turned out as well as I'd thought they would, though I'm mindful that at this point, one game means little on the (hopeful!) path to the House Cup. It would be nice for Ravenclaw to win this year, and we'll try our best, but the Cup will undoubtedly go to the best team, so it will be a good thing regardless of the exact outcome. You know, Quidditch often seems to come at the head of my journal entries, but it's not really what is foremost in my mind at this point. I've been working overtime this week to make up for the study time I missed when preparing for the match, and I'm actually quite glad to be able to not think about the sport constantly. The Quaffle dreams were starting to get to me. I'm also looking forward to being able to spend some time with my friends when we go to Hogsmeade, though I'll have to pop off by myself for a bit to do some shopping.

I've kept back a bit of cheese and some sesame seeds from lunch to see if Milosz would like them - it seems that now she's being a bit more forthcoming after her jaunt around the castle. I'll go find Luna... no doubt the little one's curled up in her sleeve.

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
11:41 am - Gearing up
I must confess to having wandered about the past couple of days a bit harried and bleary-eyed, and I must apologize to the rest of the team, who must be feeling that way as well. Trying to fit in extra planning and practice sessions has been very hard, especially for those of us who take Astronomy. Just before a game is the one time when I don't relish going out to look at the stars at night, and it's rather sad. But there will be plenty of time for stargazing after this match - it'll be a good one, but a very stiff competition. I am quite excited.

Apart from my Quidditch-induced tiredness, I feel that my classes have been going well thus far, and it pleases me to feel like I've made up for some of the opportunities I lost when I was gone. Before the crunch of the last few days, I'd been managing to see more people and talk to them on friendly terms, which is good. I got to speak to Zacharias Smith about things other than Quidditch, which was nice. I hope his cold goes away. I also spoke with Ernie MacMillan a little bit. The Hufflepuffs have gotten themselves into quite a tizzy - they are very interesting people.

I'm sorry to cut this short, but I still need to try and get something to eat before I go over my Arithmancy homework, which I feel I didn't give enough attention to. I wonder if there will be any spice cakes left.

current mood: chipper

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Monday, November 8th, 2004
12:58 pm - I think I'm finally getting the hang of this year...
I'm happy to say that this week I was able to get all of my assignments in on time (even though the parchment-length limit for the writeup of that Charms experiment was really difficult to meet - I have no idea how anyone can manage to explain for so long about something without being able to show some examples), and also to attend that seminar over which everyone has been abuzz. Most of the "Seven Habits" made rather a lot of sense, though I must admit that I took some issue with numbers 2 and 3, "Begin with the End in Mind" and "Put First Things First". What happens if you don't know what the end will be, or if you can't tell the end from the beginning? Even though I'm not that flash with alchemical principles, it seems like things tend to follow too much of a cyclical ouroboros theory around here, like we were studying a while back in Ancient Runes. Though I suppose it was meant to apply on a task-by-task basis, and I'm reading too deeply into it.

Last Sunday I was able to spend some time with Luna, which was a lot of fun. I was going to write about it earlier, but our common room was all up in arms, first over Entwhistle's couch, then over Ernie's sister and her journal-hostage situation, so I had to wait until the Eyrie calmed down a bit. I'm using the little picture that we made when Luna lent me her hairpin, because she likes the picture, and even though I don't strictly speaking need to use a hairpin, it was still nice of her to lend it to me. I don't think I have anything of my own that she'd like lent in return, though.

current mood: pleased

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Saturday, October 30th, 2004
3:09 am - I'm still actually here...
Phew! Finally some time to write in my journal. Things have been a bit hectic as of late, especially with NEWTS classes having started. I've been working so hard to make up the gap in my learning from when I was gone last year that I almost ran out of time in my schedule for pleasure reading! That little episode where we thought my medication had gone missing didn't do wonders for my ability to concentrate, either. Maybe I should enroll in that "Habits of Highly Effective People" seminar that Hermione Granger is holding... she certainly seems to be effective enough in her plethora of classes. At least I am enjoying some of my textbooks; they are more all-encompassing of their subjects than last year's. I think I'm finally managing to settle in, even though it's taken a few weeks to do so.
Now that I have a little more time on my hands, I'll be able to devote more of it to the usual diversions. I've started drawing up plans for a few more Quidditch drills, this time taking into account the variable wind-speed at the top and bottom of the field because of the spectators' boxes. And by the way, when is the next time that the Ravenclaws were going to play Dungeons and Dragons? I know I've probably missed a bit, but maybe I could be worked back into the game. I'm between reading assignments at the moment, so this will be it for now. Luna, I haven't really gotten to talk to you in ages. Maybe sometime soon?

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